Posts
Since I graduated in May, I haven’t really been that interested in writing with words. I’ve thought a lot about words and written some, spoken a bunch, sang some. I also use words in electronic messages every day – in text, email, Facebook, whatever device. Most of my creative energy is centered on being trained by a former professor of mine, growing my skills in Final Cut and shooting in verite documentary style, being connected to the power of thought conveyed in images, spoken words, and music combined to make what we call a “film.” Digital storytelling is a very current approach to disseminating information, and it’s also a lot of fun, for the maker and the viewer alike.
Working in documentary merges the new media angle with a conscious effort to tell a true, “verite” as it were, story. Being aware that documentary portrays a real life event, I often have to take stock and wonder – what gives me the clarity or good sense to sift through the mundane events of an extended period of time and piece together a story that makes sense, is compelling, and develops a character? This medium asserts that something must happen. And to become a focused editor, you must be as concerned with the larger piece as you are with the single frame. To do that well, you must understand the way life works. There is a surge of meaning, a moment that you realize is too long. Something must come to pass, pacing takes hold. The pace of things on screen is not the same as the pace in life, because it is shortened and taken into the editing system. The pace of film is the pace of your thoughts. You must be able to feel the roll of the moment, and know when it is coming to an end.
What I’ve been doing at Rutgers by documenting academic stories through the voices of the very people who are inspiring new generations of marine biologists, female scholars and activists, and storytellers whether on word or on screen has taught me that a lot of a non-fiction writer’s perspective has to be bonded in trust with the people whose story she is telling. Even if the trust is as simple as a smile while I hold the camera or concern over how their voice or image is portrayed, there has to be a relationship there. An interview, especially, requires a lot of trust from people when they would not otherwise be willing to tell their point of view to even one person let alone an indefinite public.
helped me to see that the world is always changing, the lapse of time on video is the same as it is in real life and ours is a documented culture like none other has ever been. Will this help us to come together? In documentary, I’m forced to take stock of a person as a character – which means they must potentially be able to grow.
I don’t know what the climax of this kind of media will be
or what can come beyond it. It’s hard for me to see how telling a story in 2
minutes can get any shorter, but I’m sure someone will find a way.
Check out our documentary team below:
http://wh.rutgers.edu/component/jvideo/watch/75/the-making-of-atlantic-crossing
My friend Kevin Olitan started a traveling music video site about New Brunswick featuring local bands and/or poets, artists, etc. plus everyone else on the street.
Here is his site. Please check it out! Lots of good things happening in da Bruns.
And here's the Wanderer session that Kevin and Christine Tram did with me. I did a Sufjan cover and one of my own.
ENJOY!
<3 to you
play the new song here on myspace page: jesus
lyrics:
Jesus
I'd go all night just to see you
I'd take a boat on the water
I would meet you on the other side
I am the one
you want to know
I bet it's got to hurt a little
just to know
I'm around
You brought me gifts
I brought you gifts
We'll bring eachother gifts
Of that I'm sure
You're the one I want to see
Cuz you take good care of me
You, me and Jesus
that makes three
What a friend we have in Jesus
What a friend we have in Jesus
"Us" is not a word
I've really ever known
how to use
Do you know?
It's way to big for me
Can you explain it?
I'd go anywhere with you
to the desert, even the zoo
I'll go if that's what you want to do
As long as we can go with
Jesus
I'll go anywhere you want to go
as long as I can go
with you
and Jesus
Mexico Journal - Preparation
Journal Topic: Taking on God’s Heart for the Poor
The
book of James is often quoted for its passage about faith and works,
the necessary partnership between the two in the Christian life. You
must believe in Christ, but then you must also act as if this belief
has taken you over and is now living through you.
Part of this, says James, is fulfilling the command to “love thy neighbor as thyself, which is, according to Jesus, second only in importance to loving God and honoring him full-heartedly. And in this same thought, James says “show no partiality,” i.e. one neighbor is not different from the other. If you are really loving your neighbors, you should be relating to and blessing both the rich and poor in your life. Some recent commentators have posited that the rich Western church should show even greater responsibility towards the poor, in a way becoming partial to their needs above our own.
Mexico is considered to be a "developing nation". They are at not at either extreme what the U.N. considers to be the high-consumption, high-income nations or lowest income, highest food need nations (see http://www.un.org/special-rep/ohrlls/ldc/list.htm). In 2004, the World Bank found that 13.8% of Mexicans were living in the "food-based definition of poverty" and more than 40% were living in "asset based poverty."
In Chalco, you may encounter poverty that you have not witnessed first-hand before. But you may also find a richness and a peace in people’s lives, an exuberant spirit that seems to come not from excessive amounts of material possessions, but from family life and the jovial power of Christ. There have been many times in my travels through Mexico when I have wondered how this can be possible – that the poor are truly blessed, that they seem to understand God’s word and his wonderful love even more than those who are materially gifted on this earth.
Questions to ponder:
What does it mean that the poor are
“heirs of the kingdom?” Why are the poor so prominently featured as the
object of God’s focus throughout scripture? Is it possible that God
cares much more for the poor than we do and so he must continuously
remind us of their need? What would it look like for us to have a new
theology of poverty, taking on Jesus’ perspective – that they are
blessed? Ask God to inform your heart and let you take on his view of
those who are materially and spiritually poor.
Think also on Matthew 25. How can we serve the poor as if they were actually Jesus right in front of us?
Scripture:
All of James 2
Matthew 25:40
“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”
Luke 6:20,24
“Blessed
are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of heaven…But woe unto you who
are rich! For you have received your consolation.”
Prayer Point:
Lord Jesus, it takes a miracle of faith to follow you. And to go from belief to action is even harder. God, as we seek to follow your commands, please provide us with the ability to serve the poor and to love our neighbor in deed. Give us understanding and courage as we face the fact of poverty and the great needs in our world. May we be a part of your plan to bless the poor.
Mexico Journal - Preparation
Journal Topic: Being Missionaries Now
“Ministering as Opportunity Surrounds Us. This does not mean selecting our surroundings, it means being very selectly God’s in any haphazard surroundings which He engineers for us. The characteristics we manifest in our immediate surroundings are indications of what we will be like in other surroundings.”
– Oswald Chambers, September 11 in My Utmost for His Highest
Often in the post-modern church, we talk about the role of Christians
in a new age. The words “missional living” get thrown around, as a way
of expressing a return to orthodoxy, evangelism-centered living, and allowing Scripture and the Holy
Spirit have a direct impact on every aspect of our lives. But we
still have a tendency to think of the mission field as starting on the
other side of the world and not on the other side of our door, right here and now in the
place where we live. Obviously there is direction in Scripture to
go far from the place you are from (see Mark 6:4) in order to have a
greater influence for Christ, but there is always the Great Commandment to
be disciples now, to love your neighbor now, where you reside.
This quote from Oswald Chambers about "ministering as the opportunity surrounds us" is in the context of an entry directed at the heart of missionary life. He discusses how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples and said, “As I, your Lord, have washed your feet, so you should wash each others feet” and yet how often it is typical for Christians to say, “yes I will take that attitude once I get to the field. Once I have abandoned my comforts and my home, then I will put on Christ to the people around me.”
It seems he is saying that if you desire to have an impact in a distant land
for the God you love (in Church we call this "unreached people groups"
:) ), you have to first act as Jesus did to the people closest to you
in proximity. In his notes, Chambers goes on to say that if you are
actually asking to be closer to God, you must be willing to meet people
just where they are at and love them with the spirit of Christ in every circumstance. That also means accepting that sometimes those nearest to you may be the most difficult to serve, if only because of your apparent comfort with them. To return to the quote: "The characteristics we manifest
in our immediate surroundings are indications of what we will be like
in other surroundings."
As a challenge to yourself in the next couple weeks before our trip, be intentional with
the relationships in your life. Pray for those who hurt you; go out of
your way to strategically plant the seeds of God’s Word in peoples’
lives. Look for the opportunities God has given you in the place where
you live to be a blessing. Ask God to show you how to be a missionary
now to your own city as you prepare for ministry in Valle de Chalco.
Scripture:
Jeremiah 29:7
“Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you
into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too
will prosper.”
Luke 6:27-28
“I tell you who hear Me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate
you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
Acts17:26-27
“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the
whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact
places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him
and perhaps reach out for him and find, though he is not far from each
one of us.”
Prayer Point:
Dear God, we like to
think that we have followed Your ways of love, but often we are merely
nice without being kind, cordial without being warm toward people not
like us. We know the language about loving our neighbors here and now,
but we have not done it. Change our hearts and guide our deeds so that
we may be missionaries in our daily lives as much as we are to the kids
and adults in Valle de Chalco. (adapted from “Seek God for the City
2006”, a WayMakers publication.)
Mexico Journal - Preparation
Journal Topic: Becoming Peacemakers
As we engage in missions, part of what God will be doing in and through us is forming relationships that bridge cultures. When you begin to connect to Christian communities in other parts of the world, you may begin to look at the Church as an international body that represents people of many races and cultural heritage.
In Mexico, we will be ambassadors. You may be one of the few encounters some of our Mexican brothers and sisters will ever have with American Christians. God loves our difference and has made no mistake in our cultural and ethnic backgrounds, but as a part of the Great Commission, we are sent to “make disciples of all nations” and a big part of that is coming with a spirit of unity. Regardless of our differences, we share Christ.
Questions to Ponder:
Scripture gives a case
for God’s intention to bring about peace, not discord, among nations.
Have you seen God working towards racial and cultural harmony in our
own nation? In our towns or cities? On an interpersonal level? Where do
you see exclusion and separation still occuring? Are we as a church
contributing to a cultural of acceptance and unity? How can our work in
Mexico be a part of this cultural reconciliation?
Scripture:
Micah 4:3
“He will judge between many peoples and settle disputes for the strong
nations far and wide. They will beat their swords into plowshares and
their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against
nation, nor will they train for war anymore.”
Matthew 12:21
“In His name the nations will put their hope.”
Matthew 5:9
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God."
Psalms 22:27
“All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, nd the families of the nations will bow down before Him…”
Prayer Point:
Lord, You alone are able to bring about the healing of cultural clashes and separations. Your love is the only love strong enough to cover the injustices and incidents of misunderstanding that kindle racial and ethnic feuds. Please guide us as the people of God to be used in Your Kingdom for reconciliation, and allow our work in Mexico to bring harmony and unity to the community we serve.
As we prepare to go to Mexico in July, I'll be posting my journal entries here and the questions/ scripture that we are looking at together as a team.
Here's the first one
Mexico Journal - Preparation
Journal Topic: Being SentWhether it is for years, a month, or a few days, going to a new place with the intention of spreading the Gospel through words and/or deeds means that one is being sent out. The word apostle comes from the Greek apostolos, meaning "one sent forth." The Apostles of the New Testament are those who were sent forth with the Gospel and told to bring the message of the Kingdom to new lands, to share the secret of Christ's birth and resurrection. They often left house and home to do this work, and carried their lives around with them rather than settling down.In the modern church we often refer to the Great Commission, the concluding words of Jesus in the four gospels, where the Lord sends his disciples out in His name, endowing them with the responsibility and power to carry out a co-mission with God on earth. There are many modern missionaries all over the world, some of them living on very little, most of them being supported by churches in America (or whatever their host-country may be). Some of these are missionaries to countries that do not accept religious views other than their state-sponsored beliefs. In places like China, Indonesia, Burma, and the Middle East, (even in Mexico!) Christian people face persecution, and missionaries living in those countries are right alongside them.Missionaries, by necessity of what they do, must leave one place for another. They must give up something to get what God has for them elsewhere. In a way they are like the man who sells everything he has to buy the field where he's found a treasure. It is a life of real dependence on God, and it requires great passion and humility at the same time.
Questions to ponder:What does it mean to you that you are being sent? Read Luke 9:1-6. How do you feel when you read this passage? What do you think God is equipping you with as he sends you into a foreign land? What is he asking you to leave behind? In practice, what would it look like for you to let go of something you thought you needed to bring on our trip, but really could just act as a distraction from the work?
Read the Great Commission, and go back to verse 1 of Luke 9. What kind of "authority" is given to missionaries? What happened when the disciples went and did what Jesus said? How do healing people and bringing them the Gospel go hand in hand?Scripture:Matthew 13:4444"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."Luke 9:1-61When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases,2and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. 3He told them: "Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic. 4Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. 5If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them." 6So they set out and went from village to village, preaching the gospel and healing people everywhere.
Matthew 28:16-20
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."Prayer Point:Spend some time thinking about the fact that you are being sent.God, when your disciples trusted you, they let go of everything they had in order to do your work. Help us to walk faithfully and humbly with you as we arrive in a new place and let go of what is comfortable and familiar to us.
The first thing I think of when I read these verses, especially those found in Luke, is the blatant absurdity of following Christ. It's absurd and paradoxical and will constantly humble the follower. This is because when we find out what we must do to follow him, the straight line ceases to be straight, the wide road narrows to a winding unbeaten path, and everything we've collected until then must come off. Come off and be left off. The attitude of my heart is that when I go somewhere, it should be on my terms, and the way I interact with people and the things I carry should all be controlled by whatever plans I have in mind, and whatever means I have to complete my tasks support me to do it. In mission work, and in the rest of lay-life, Christ takes this away. No longer may I have plans. I may only have trust. No longer may I have my means and ways, but only the authority and power imbued by the Spirit.
A lot of in Christian life is a paradox. Often if you are looking for God's will, you are sitting in the dark, usually at a crossroads, sometimes feeling on your hands and knees for the way. "Light in the darkness" is said that way to make readers understand that the authority that God has means he guides perfectly, corrects perfectly, and lights the path in front of you.
When it comes to leaving things behind to go do mission work, I have to say, I think the hardest thing to leave will always be people. Christ takes away the things from his disciples, and there's so much value in learning to live without items, to have few possessions. In times when I have been without things in my life, or when I have had only a suitcase to live out of, I have actually felt the most value for my things. The more things I have, it seems, the less I care about them. I put them in a mental heirarchy, where one or two things are really all that matters, and the other things are just kind of there. I'm not attached to them. When you havea few outfits, and maybe your guitar, and some books, you love those clothes and that guitar and those books. You forget about the excess things. Eventually, it's natural to not have so many things to hold onto. But missing the people you come from and the place, I can't imagine that ever really goes away, especially when you are feeling alone and different in a new land.
So, I think the harder part of this is really leaving those you love, and that the leaving behind of things is also difficult, but not as bad as we think. Later we may look at some passages where Jesus speaks explicitly about the costs of discipleship, and the costs (in many cases) of putting the Kingdom first.
I also think there is a challenge to leave "you" behind, to leave your self, your image, your things, your needs or perceived needs back in the American homeland. That's tough stuff. As spiritual women who I look up to put it, you're in some way responsible for quieting your "monkey-mind." But I do believe that God gives you a lot of power you didn't have before. Like your body giving you a pick-up boost of adrenalin that you need in the last mile of a race, God picks up where your own talents and abilities are limited. Being in prayer and focus on Christ during mission stays is important and necessary to remain centered on the work and not on your own needs/things.
And that brings me to my final thought. (Not Jerry Springer style). Jesus seems to say, "Go with nothing," but what he is actually saying is, "Take me with you." He's not leaving them empty handed.You go alone, but you go with Someone. And often, over time, you get new someones, new family and new friends. A new heaven and a new earth. What he does say is take the authority and power that I put in you, take the power to do for others (at times) what they cannot do for themselves. Believe and they will have faith, forgive them and they will be forgiven. I guess maybe I don't really understand the paradox, but I do talk about it because I'd like to understand it. How limitations may actually appear at first to be blessings, things that you want and things that you hold on to actually keep you from fully experiencing what is best for you. But if you're willing to let go sometimes there is an unlimited source of help, of care, of gratitude for the people around you. How the choice to follow what Jesus says over any other word brings freedom and humility and a lot of peace if you stick to his plan, and loosen your grip on what you think is yours.
Turtle Rock (White Gowns)
On the dark path
you picked up stones
and dropped them in your skirt
like a pocket
And we reached down
to the moon's
reflection in the water
O, what a night it was
to watch the water wash
in and out
over our fears and doubts
about ourselves
But something's lost, now
something's lost
Two days on the shore
and a bright light shone
in the middle of the lake
As girls we climbed rocks and stories
and hurried out to see
the sights
O, what a day it was
when we rowed out to the middle
and left our oars at shore
We were not sure, no
we were not sure
But when the Bridegroom comes
they'll have white gowns
and crowns on their heads
they'll have jars for oil
and roses on their beds
when the Bridegroom comes
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=143658117
"He was overwrought by a morning of hard, nerve-taxing work, work which had not ceased to exact his uttermost in the way of sustained concentration, conscientiousness, an tact; and after the noon meal found himself powerless to check the onward sweep of productive mechanism within him, that motus animi continuus in which, according to Cicero, eloquence resides." Thomas Mann's Death in Venice
I was thinking today that all adults are guilty of thinking that their lives are so important and that what they have to say is equally that important.
I went to get some “dinner” at a stone slab creamery and walking out saw a man, thirties+, in shorts and sunglasses, like maybe it was finally weekend, maybe summer had come to New Jersey, maybe he was finally going to enjoy himself. And he was on the phone with someone just going off about his work stuff. It was already 6 pm. But cell phones and wireless modernity often mean we don’t stop working just because we leave the office.
“Work stuff,” he said. “Work, work, workity-work. Did you hear that? Work.”
But in his tone I recognized he thought what he was saying was inspiring and valuable and important to whatever it is that makes the world hold together. It sounded like he was being groundbreaking with the directions he was giving the person on the other end of the phone.
And as I walked past him to my car I thought, “Grownups think they are important, and that their work is extremely important and necessary.” And then it dawned that I have been operating out of this place all day long. It’s true that man’s work is important to the continuation of day to day living and functioning economy and what that man was talking about probably supports a large foundation for the rest of a solid workplace. Till the earth, yadda yad.
But, here he was, and here I was, workers in America, in the evolutionary stage of work where most of our job is mental and consumes our brain rather than our bodies (which is fun), and the web dictating when and where we ought to be places, and our calendars booked, and our lives in order, sailing wildly into the future, away from the past without another thought of it. Here we were. I felt guilty, for him and for myself, of thinking that what I do is so important and who I am as a “working adult” is also so important. I started thinking of my career, my obligations, my creativity and myself earlier today at a meeting that concerns future employment, trying to muster up the self-importance necessary to continue feeling important at a table with other important women. I think it was still in me as I exited the ice cream parlor: a feeling that I was satisfied by work and being fully strong, taking the days right as they come and confronting tasks with the diligence to achieve excellence. And is there anything wrong with that? No. No, there’s nothing wrong with doing well. There’s not even anything wrong with building acumen. It’s part of justice, part of the rescue from the fall. I believe that. But what was altered in me when I saw myself in that man on the phone making important “business” calls, was the center of my satisfaction going from my own wit and wisdom and back onto God’s strength, back to His power, back to the place where my sense of achievement and what is right resides.
I have been thinking, as I guess most graduates do, that this “real world” thing is more about who we are and what we are doing than it is about a place that exists beyond college. It’s about “what are you going to do with the rest of your days,” “where will you settle?”, “who will your friends be?” It’s not so much about this vacuous hole that is sucking everyone into it and making people put on nice shoes and slacks to go to work in a building 50 stories tall. It’s just life. It’s this thought I’ve been having lately about doing anything. And this is just my opinion so you can take it or leave it. But nothing is as hard as it first appears. Some of the greatest mystics response to God was to sit still and wait. And in waiting, in accepting the moment, they found Him there, waiting for them and accepting them. Sometimes the most simple way to do well in the world is by “taking it easy”, even when you are (perhaps) important, or considerably skilled, or even (get this) working very hard. Sometimes, the only way to get hard work done is by letting go of it, and resting easy on some faith and some trust. One of the most powerful pieces of literature I’ve ever read is the last 80 pages of “Seven Storey Mountain” by Thomas Merton. In it, at some point, he gives a short speech about the difference between the active life and the contemplative life, the difference between work in action and work inside. Work inside is deep, and I think everyone’s going through it. Sometimes, it is harder to do than any other kind of labor. But I also think that work in action is begging us away all the time from that inner work, which is why some smart people go sit under a tree forever or live in a monastery to get God. I respect that, but I also love laughing and dancing and music and certain things I'm unwilling to give up. I'm really into people. Regardless, like my old friend Bro Lawrence, I think it's possible and necessary to live in the total ease of God, while also being right where you are in the busy-ness of life, working. I hope I can do both, and come to see work as easy, and ease as work.
